...i am a princess on the way to my throne...


Someone Toast Me A Marshmallow, I Need A Fire! 

Okay, what is my problem??? Last week I was fussing about how blasted hot is was in this house when my turkey air conditioner was out swilling down virgin margaritas in the Poconos, and now I feel like I'm living in the North Pole. My bare feet are like ice blocks, my hands are chapped, and I have icicles hanging off my nose. Even my nose hairs have frostbite. The last time I was this cold was back in 1986 when I visited communist Russia and could not comprehend how one place could actually be that cold. Yeesh, what is my thermostat set to, anyway???

Trust me, I'm not complaining. No way, I'm not complaining. I'd rather throw on an oversize sweater and don footies than go through the sweltering heat I went through last week. I never did tell you what Mr. Monosyllabic said to me, did I? He said (after a grunt or two), "If we had installed the good stuff you would still be under warranty, but as it is your 1 year warranty is expired."

Eh?? Excuse me??? You mean to tell me this is junk??? Junk that you put in last June, the junk that cost nearly THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS??? That kind of junk??? Jeeze, I'd hate to see what he would have charged if it had not have been garbage!

Yep, I have to say, that little statement of his (and the most words I heard him string together during his entire stay) really fried my bacon. We live in a lovely modular home, which must be a code name for "oh, it's only a mobile home on cement, so we can charge all kinds of higher insurance and put in all kinds of junky appliances cause it's not going to be around forever, you know". I kid you not, that seems to be so many people's attitudes concerning our home. Never mind this same house has been on this same spot for nearly thirty years and we are only the third family to ever live here (actually, we are only the second; my brother lived here for only a little while, so that really doesn't count). This home is more stable and stronger than the new home we owned across the bridge, which we just about junked to the ground in the four years we lived there. It was pretty, but very cheaply made. This house is sturdy, I tell you! Ain't nothing short of a fire going to take this baby down! And Mr. Monosyllabic has the nerve to tell me he didn't put in the "good stuff". Gag me with a screwdriver. It sure cost enough to be the good stuff, Bucko!

Needless to say, I won't be using him anymore, not if I can help it. But at least he fixed my air conditioner, and for that I'm eternally grateful.

Now if I could just get someone to install a fireplace, I'd be set to go.:)
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