As I sit here in the early hours of the morn musing over the past year's events (and yesterday's quiz entry), I have stumbled across somethings about myself that I never really knew. There have been things I've always assumed to be true, but for some inexplicable reason I've had an epiphany that has made me examine myself a little closer. Some of these realizations are little things, fun and inconsequential to world events, but others truths lay deep beneath the surface and have taken me rather aback.

May I share with you what I have found:

1) I had always thought my favorite season was autumn, but in truth it is spring.

2) I really do not mind hot weather, as much as I've claimed to hate it.

3) Pale pink is still my favorite color, but I'm not adverse to red as I once thought.

4) I am incredibly vain, although I thought I was the most modest person in the world.

5) I need God more than ever.

6) I have a covetous spirit, something I desperately need to place under the blood of Jesus.

7) I have a severe addiction to chocolate cupcakes.

8) I might actually enjoy fly fishing.

9) I care far too much what people think about me, and it makes me miserable when someone is peeved with me. I used to think I didn't care, but I find I do. Terribly.

10) I have a hard time removing myself from painful situations. I used to think I would just walk away, but it's not always that easy.

11) I am stronger than I ever thought I was, but only in God.

12) I crave my Floridian childhood.

13) I am constantly changing, even though I hate change; perhaps I do not hate it as much as I thought I did.

14) I used to think I liked cats and dogs equally, but I faaaaaaaaar prefer cats.

15) I am beginning to really love purple, a color I have never really cared for.

16) I used to think of Liv Tyler is a total ditz as herself (and still do), but as Arwen she is easily the most beautiful and elegant woman in the world.

17) I get so lonely it hurts.

18) I wish they made affordable hippie clothes for fat people, because I realize I love tie-dye and sandals.

19) My style is totally Shabby Chic when it comes to decorating, although I can't really afford it. Who knew I'd like all that white?

20) I bleed inside for the lost and I wish everyone knew the truth of Christ. I just wish I had what it takes to witness like I should.

Tis true that this is just a sampling, but it begs the question: how well do we really know ourselves? How well do we know others? Are we happy to accept what we think about ourselves to be true, or are we willing to dig a little deeper to see what really lies within the well? Most of the things I've listed above are fluffy, but some of them shocked me to my very core. Me, vain?? Me, lonely?? Sometimes, the answers to these questions are undoubtedly yes. I always saw myself as a happy-go-lucky, not-a-care-in-the-world kind of person, but there are moments when I do feel heavy and alone. I don't mean to imply I'm a depressed personality, but there is indeed a new gravity to my character that has evolved out of the events of the preceding year. Maybe it's to my maturity and maybe it's for my betterment; time will tell.

Yes, indeed, time will tell. It will be up to me, alas, to hear what it says.

La mood:chillin
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