I want to thank everyone for the lovely comments on my new logo. I always balk at using my own work for anything regarding myself. I don't know why, but I never consider myself a "real" artist. I like my work, but sometimes I feel like it's little more than glorified crayon. I know, I know, I can feel the wet noodle-lashing as I speak, but I'm just being real.

I organized my stash last night, and it truly was a form of serenity to me. It gave me a sense of newness as I cleaned out my stash drawers and played in my sparklies. I unkitted everything except my Chatelaines (Misty Morning Vineyard, Taj Mahal, and Watergarden), but I have no plans to work on them at present. I have an insatiable desire to stitch nothing but Mirabilias. Since Laura was the first person I met online who loved Mirabilia as much as I did, I suppose it's my way of being close to her. And now, years later, I'm surrounded by such wonderful people who also love Mirabilia as much as I do, and that is a great comfort.

While I was going through my stash, I found all of the wonderful scissor fobs I've aquired in the past year or so. Most of them I purchased, but my most special are three that were given to me as gifts. The very first fob I ever got was a gift from Angi a la purple faery and it remains infinitely special to me. It's made of pink swarovskis with silver accenting, and at the end dangles a silver dolphin. I was doubly touched, because not only are dolphins one of my favorite animals ever, pink is one of my favorite colors. The second fob I recieved as a gift was from Ginny, one of the Georgia Ghetto Floss Lickers stitchers (and I think 'redneck' was recently incorporated in there somewhere). Not only is she an emmensely talented stitcher, but also an amazing 'fobber'. Her fob consisted of gorgeous glass beads the color of pale turquoise, another one of my favorite colors. It also contains a dolphin charm, and complete with matching dolphin bracelet. It's stunning. The third fob I recieved as a gift was recently and it was from Cindy (aka stitchingmom, our resident Color Conversion whiz on the Mira board). This gorgeous fob is loaded with all different kinds of beads, all the colors of the ocean. The charm is amazing; it's a mermaid riding on the back of a dolphin. Silver, of course. I love them all dearly, and they help remind me of what a special group of women I have the priviledge to know. The stitching community really is something, and I am grateful and humbled to be a part of it.

I'm actually doing much better today. I think I've gotten past the denial stage concerning Laura's death; I actually found myself wishing that it was all a cruel joke, and that she would post saying she was really alive. I think the turning point for me when I realized that she was really gone was when I read about the vigil Neil had a few days ago for Laura at his home. Although I took comfort that Neil was trying to celebrate Laura's life, it struck me that she was not coming back. I finally had to face this truth. And face it I did.

Do you know who I really feel for? I feel for those stitchers that had the pleasure to know Laura in 'real life', like Ryan and Cymberleah. So many of these ladies were able to eat with her, stitch with her, attend her wedding, and be her friends. I know their pain must be immense, and my heart goes out to them. While I am sorry for my own loss, I am sorry for theirs for in many ways it is that much greater.

I remember the first time I spoke to Laura. It was at one of the stitching GTG and Valerie called her on her cell-phone. We all sang happy birthday to her, and then passed the phone around for all to speak with her. It was so cool, and she was so surprised. She didn't sound anything like I thought she would. For some reason, I envisioned her as sounding 'clear' and 'straightforward', if that makes any sense. But she didn't; she had a marvelously feminine voice, with an infectious giggle. She also sounded very 'Canadian', which was a delight. I think Canadians have a different timber to their voices than us Yanks, and I absolutely love it (I've always had a love affair with Canada anyway). I'll never forget that time her, Angi and I all got together and talked online, except I didn't have a microphone so all I could do was hear their voices and type my responses as the 'silent partner'. I'll never forget her total incomprehension of why I like Haldir so much.

Laura: Ew, why do you like him? He's so snobby!
Me: Because he's the only elf with testosterone!
Playful howls of protestation from Laura and Angi.

*Sigh*. That was a fun night.

That was also before Laura's depression kicked in. I am so sorry she had to struggle with that, for it's a horrible thing to have to suffer.

Anway...I'm taking the cue from Neil and I'm choosing to celebrate her life. I'm going to start posting on the boards, but I will be clinging very closely to the Mira board. I have done those wonderful stitchers a grave diservice by not letting them know how special they are to me. I have chosen to stitch The Kiss and Deepest Love, and I know it will be my way to draw close to those things we both loved about Mirabilias. There is indeed healing to be found in those things treasured.

Now: The Kiss will be my Phantom of the Opera conversion, but don't expect any fancy new colorway for Deepest Love. The truth is, I'm burned out on doing color conversions. I'm not giving them up altogether, but I am taking a break. When I first started them they were an amazing challenge, and they worked really well; I even got dubbed the 'Queen of Color Conversions' by the intrepid Lorchen (whom I miss). I loved experimenting with color and showing how a design could completely change a look just by changing a few colors. I'd like to even think I played some small role in giving stitchers the courage to attempt to try conversions of their own. I was looking at the Color Conversions forum the other day, and it's just exploded with different colorways. I am so proud of everyone, and frankly they don't need me to do conversions for them anymore. They can do it themselves, and they are doing it remarkably well.

It will actually be refreshing to stitch a Mira as it's been charted. Who knew?

{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}
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