...i am a princess on the way to my throne...



I've been doing a lot of thinking the morning and I've decided to add a memoriam in my sidebar. Special thanks goes to Nicole for creating the wonderful memory picture of Laura for us all to use. I also chose some blinkies off Laura's blog that best describe her to me.

I got up after my last post and decided to get active. I've been in my jammies for two days, and the lethargy was starting to kick in. I've had some major stomach pains on and off this morning (stress I suppose) but I needed to get active so I cleaned. Nothing major, just a little light house cleansing, but as soon as I vaccumed I felt better. I felt more purposeful, and effective. My children are here, and despite my grief they need me. They need to be able to depend on Mom to keep a clean house for them and feed them and spend time loving them. So I did.

You know, we really do need to tell people how much we care about them. I have so many regrets with Laura. There was so much I wanted to say. We should never take our loved ones for granted. It's not just the point that we don't know when we are going to go, but it's more of a fact that we don't know when they are going to go.

Which brings me to some of the stupid customs we have. I mean, why do we always wait until company comes to use the expensive dishes? Why wait? Isn't your family special enough to use them every day? Okay, so if you use them every day they might cease to be special, but says who? How can a family meal surrounded by beauty and good conversation ever be considered unspecial, regardless of how many times you've seen the pretty dishes? Or, why wait for special occassions to burn those candles or light that insence? Everyday should be celebrated and cherished, and we should do the things we love with the ones we love, just because we are together. These are just a couple of examples of some of the things we can do to help show our families they are special.

And friends, physical and online...have you touched out to someone today and told them what they mean to you? I made a point of it this morning. I sent an e-mail to someone I've been in the same circle with for four years. Everytime I see her I connect with her, and I think good things. So, I decided not to just think these things about her, but to tell her these things. I think we should all do something like that, if anything to help us keep perspective. I challenge you today to do just that; e-mail someone you think very highly of, someone who may not know it and let them know how they have touched you. Perhaps our community would be a lot stronger if we did that every day.

Let's walk in love with each other. If you have been wronged by someone, or if you are the one who has wronged someone else, put it aside. Write that person, right now. Let them know life is too short to be hindered by stupid grudges and hurt feelings. Embrace friendship, for it is the stuff love is made of.

Yesterday I picked up my WIP of the Kiss and worked on it all day. It brought me some comfort, as it was the piece that most reminds me of Laura. I've pretty much put all my other WIPs on the back burner for now I just have a penchant to stitch Mirabilias.

I found out news about the memorial service for Laura. It can be found here on Neil's blog. Angi and I were going to send flowers from the Mirabilia board, but they have requested donations be given to the United Way or a favorite charity in leiu of flowers. I desperately wish I could go.

There are so many things I want to say, and so many things I feel. I know death is a part of life, but knowing that doesn't make it any easier. I just take comfort in the fact that God is with me right now; He is with all of us, whether we acknowledge His presence or not. I have been praying constantly for Neil and her parents, that God grant them the strength and comfort they need during this time.

I've been dreaming of her, and I still can't believe she's gone. I don't think any of us will get used to that fact.
*tears* you are so right about how we live and how much we take each other for granted. Its a shame.
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