The days of late have been a time of deep reflection. I have been doing a lot of searching and growing, reaching into myself. I have been communing with God in ways I have not done in a long time, and it has felt so good. It has also cast light in areas that have been formerly shrouded in darkness, and with exposure has come self-revelation.

I used to be very close to God. His desires were my desires, His wants my wants; I wanted to use my gifts and callings for His purpose, to edify and shed love on others. I don't quite know how it happened, but a lot of the things that I once held as consecrations I have let slip by the wayside. I have ignored those sweet, subtle Callings and pressed on to do my own thing. Now, however, I feel His gentle wooing and I'm ready to embrace Him once again.

What does this mean? I'm not sure exactly, but I know one area He is wooing me in is my artwork. For years I've allowed my talent to lay dormant, and it was not until 2005 that I started developing it again. I am so proud of the works I have accomplised since, even those that that I don't "like" very much. Each piece, regardless of how good or bad, holds a place in my heart, for each piece is a teacher. I've learned so many things about technique through experimentation, but I've also learned a lot about myself. My work is very 'girly', and it pretty much mirrors the artist within. I love the fairies and Celtic women I've portrayed, and some of these pieces are like old friends.

Yet, there is now a longing in me to do more. God has been calling me, in that sweet voice, to go deeper. He is calling me to explore my faith and use the canvas as expression. Can I do it? It seems no problem for me to create things from my imagination, but to create things that stem from my soul? It's a prospect that's scary and exilirating at the same time. The desire to share my beliefs with others through my work has always been there, but I've spent so much time carving out a certain path for myself that I've ignored that desire. And God is so gentle; He never forces us to do things, not even the things we really want to do. He just gently knocks, patiently and sweetly, until we decide to open the door. And what do you do after you invite Him in? Do you just sit Him in a corner and ignore Him, or do you fellowship with Him? Well, I'm tired of having Him in a corner, so I think it's time to break out the bon-bons and coffee and treat Him to tea.

It feels good to have His arms around me again. Although He's always been here, I've always been there, if you know what I mean.

*****************************************************

I want to thank everyone for putting in their votes towards the Wing 'O the Moth shawl yarn choice. After much deliberation and tearful agonizing (I take my yarn very seriously, you understand) I have decided on Platinum. It was a very close race: the runner-ups were Vintage Jade, Mother-of-Pearl, and Mica. And trust me: I will be knitting with all of these colors at one point or another, as well as Dream and Teal Tide...oh, so many wonderful colors! This was not an easy decision, I assure you. However, I realize the one thing that really sold me on this shawl was the frothiness of the original. Anne used Douceur et Soie in Ivory, and it positively glows in the photo. I want that same kind of glow, and I thought Platinum would work the best. And I'm right; when I opened my parcel and saw the skeins, I gasped. This is going to be one incredible shawl!

Alas, I can't start it until I finish Seraphim and my Clapotis (I'm in round 8 of the straight rows section...I'm bleeding from the eyes...). I keep waiting to see if there will be an Amazing Lace 2007, for if there is I want to enter Moth as my partner. I keep peeking at the web site to see if there is anything new, but so far I keep getting a "Not Found" page.

Of course, whether or not there is an Amazing Lace, Wing 'O the Moth will be my Project 'O the Summer and I can't wait! I've been frothing at the mouth to start this project since November. Woohoo! But I have to finish the others first, yes, I must I must. So many projects, so few hands...
|